Someone I love asked me for a large sum of money. It took me three days to reach the decision to say no, and less than one minute to speak it to the person who awaited my response.  This was challenging for me– one of those times when I had no idea what the reaction might be or the outcome of what might follow. Initially I focused on how much I wanted to “help,” how I sometimes need to be needed, on how much of a difference my response could make in this dear person’s life.  Part of me wanted to say yes.  Part of me wanted to say no.  I was conflicted–big time.

Then I began asking myself important questions– questions I might ask a client. Questions such as, What would Jesus/the Buddha/Mother Theresa do?  Which conflicted part of me feels stronger?  What am I pretending not to see? and then, most important: If I say yes how will I feel afterwards?  If I say no, how will I feel afterwards?  Then I encouraged my conscious mind to stop participating in the wrestling match, connect with spirit, and KNOW that the answer would come.  For three days, I listened and practiced patience (with varying success).  When I awakened the third morning the answer was there. 

I know the power of words.  Sometimes saying, “yes,” actually stops the creative process.   The power of “NO” honors another person’s presence, independence and ability. Speaking the word, “no” sometimes takes courage. When spoken with love,”NO,” can be empowering –for all.

1.  State what you want to do. (as opposed to what you don’t want)                                                                     

2.   Ensure that you can accomplish this independently.

3.   Identify the stumbling blocks that are in your way. Walk around them, jump over them, or turn them into stepping stones.

4.   Determine  when, where, and how you will accomplish your goal.

5.  Visualize what it will look like, sound like, and feel like when you have accomplished your goal.

6.  Take an “ecology check” by asking how your achieving what you want might impact others.  And determine whether or not that matters.

7. Follow through on step 4.

Core Transformation is an NLP process that gets you in touch with feelings created in your past that may once have been useful but that no longerserve you . You can learn from those beliefs that  preventyou from moving forward.  How?  Simply by having a unique conversation with them you can discover their positive intention for you!  In an hour or so you can overcome the obstacle and enlighten your life! Sounds pretty amazing doesn’t it?  It is! And YOU can make it happen!

How is it that we allow ourselves to complicate even the simplest aspects of our lives?  What an amazing capacity for thought our brains have!  And sometimes that works, and sometimes it just complicates!  Part of me thinks this, part of me thinks that, and part of me…well, you have experienced this over and over again!

What I know is that each of our parts resides in a place within us and underneath all the complications, that part has a good intention for us.  Finding that core intention that is greater than all the others can happen and it can transform.  When we accept, listen, and embrace that part of us-even the one that hurts or is our shadow, we learn the intention and grow through the lesson.

That part within you that seems to be causing pain has a higher intention for you.  Find it.  Communicate with it and LISTEN to what it has to teach. It can change the entire picture!

A new, shorter more affordable Co-Life Coaching weekend will be held on January 8th and 9th in Hagerstown!  For more information about this life-changing workshop link with www.colifecoaching.com